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The four main points of emotional intelligence

What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?

However, according to psychologist Daniel Goleman in his monumental book Emotional Intelligence: In other words, emotions can be a very valuable tool in guiding our choices and decision-making.

In light of his theory of evolution, Charles Darwin theorized that our minds have evolved to experience emotions so that we can better adapt to our environment.

Psychology + Self Improvement In the 21st Century

In this case, fear is an emotion that motivates us to avoid something when we are in danger. In this case, joy is an emotion that motivates you to seek more of something.

Emotional intelligence is about being more aware of our emotions and what they are signaling to us. Self-Awareness The first pillar of emotional intelligence is paying attention to your own emotions. Emotions often come in two main parts: Sometimes just being more aware of our emotional states and all their components is enough to manage them better. In one recent study, they found simply labeling negative emotions can help you overcome them.

The 4 Fundamental Pillars of Emotional Intelligence

What am I thinking? What physical sensations am I experiencing with this emotion? Self-Regulation Once you are more aware of your emotions, the next pillar of emotional intelligence is learning how to respond to them better.

  1. And we tend to avoid the uncomfortable action of asking others for feedback. Pursuing goals persistently despite obstacles and setbacks.
  2. As you can imagine, to do this requires the 3 characteristics we just discussed, plus finesse in dealing with others.
  3. You can then start to understand why you feel, and what makes you feel.

Depending on the situation, there are many different strategies we can use to better regulate our emotions. Some of these strategies include: Channeling an emotion in a new and constructive way, such as through exercising, writing, or painting. Avoiding triggers — such as certain people, situations, or environments — that are more likely to bring out a negative emotion.

4 Components of Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Seeking positive experiences to reverse negative ruts such as watching a comedy movie when we are feeling down, or listening to motivating music when we are lazy. Turning emotions around by doing the opposite of what you feel.

Sitting and watching emotions as a passive observer, instead of acting on them impulsively. These are all strategies available to us to help us regulate our emotions better on an everyday basis. There are many different ways to respond to a particular emotion, and not every tool is going to work depending on what the situation is.

The more emotionally intelligent you become, the better you will be at deciding what is the best way to respond to an emotion. Empathy Understanding your own emotions is half of emotional intelligence, the other half is understanding the emotions of others. Another powerful tool for improving empathy is perspective taking.

What is this person feeling?

Emotional Intelligence Theory: Highlighting and Developing Leadership Skills

Why is this person acting in the way they do? First, understand that a lot of our emotional world has a social component to it. For example, emotions such as love, guilt, rejection, and embarrassment are almost strictly social emotions they rarely exist outside the context of our relationships with others.

October 13, 2008

If your actions cause negative emotions in other people, then that can hurt a relationship and your ability to connect with others in a meaningful way.

Cultivating positive emotions — like joy, optimism, excitement, and humor — is key toward bonding with others in a strong and lasting way. Have you ever walked into a room of people who are really depressed or stressed out, and you immediately begin to feel depressed and stressed too? This is an example of emotional contagion, which is the idea that our emotions can often spread to others like a virus. So if you walk around life with a generally positive attitude, that is going to rub off on those you interact with but you have to first have your own mind in order.

But you need to practice turning negative people around by first being positive in yourself. Stay updated on new articles and resources in psychology and self improvement: