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Love and hate in the novel the end of the affair by graham greene

Anyone in love, out of love, or trying to understand emotion Recommended to Ben by: It flipped me around and turned me upside down.

I was overtaken, absorbed, and transfixed in a whirlwind of emotion. The End of the Affair was exactly what I needed to help me through some recent difficulties in my personal life. No, I didn't have an affair with a married woman, heh.

But a relationship did recently end for me, and that kind of thing is painful, and tough to deal with, as you probably know. This novel helped me through all that This book is extremely special to me. This novel helped me through all that: By channeling the thoughts, emotions, and lessons from the book, I was able to understand myself and my situation better. I read it at just the right time and the impact was healthy, significant, and powerful. It seems that most good books show, in some way, how ridiculous we all are.

And what is more ridiculous than love? The End of the Affair shows the nuances, complexities, depths and strengths of love; how serious, dynamic, and mighty it is, while also showing how selfish it is. And you can't really have love without hate, can you? Love and hate of another; love and hate of self; love and hate of God -- or of his nonexistence -- are the major themes. The love depicted in the novel is not a halfway love is there such a thing as a halfway love? It is in extremes: Love in all it's splendor and horror, Greene gets it.

The End of the Affair

The novel is also about life, and death, and fate, and God, and all the struggles associated with these things. The existential struggle of the individual; the selfish power of our personalized emotions in our ultimate search for love in its many forms. I'd have to love your God. I'd rather love the men you slept with. And, because of that, and because love makes you happy -- releasing all kinds of awesome chemicals -- you associate your beloved with almost everything, and almost everything seems and feels better.

Life is so much better when you're in love, and as you turn the pages of this novel, you feel it. The way you put your best self forward every time; the positive inner desire and motivating factor of trying to prove that you're completely worthy, and the very best for that person.

The electricity that starts upon contact; how it never really goes away, but constantly gets reaffirmed through smiles, and small gestures, and actually grows stronger the longer you're together. The fact that while our emotions and inner selves are on high alert and more intense, so is our awareness of our shortcomings and weaknesses. The insecurity, the jealousy; the panicky anxiety -- how all those subconscious, hidden pathologies start to surface -- you push them back, but you're made aware that they are there.

The lack of control. Insecurity twists meanings and poisons trust. Deep down you know it's a farce which is probably why jealousy and pettiness often begin to play rolesbut it feels great, and it makes you love your partner all the more.

He pounces on my words like a barrister and twists them. What he says aloud, I say to myself silently and write it here. But oh the joy. Your world is shaken to the core. You see something that reminds you of the person and the times you had, and feel like someone punched you in the stomach.

And you see that person in everything, so the pain is always there. The sharp, unbearable pain, like your whole life has been torn upside down; the sick feeling; the empty feeling. You used to love yourself. You now hate everything. Life was splendid, amazing, magical. Life is now dark grey. The grasping for what was, for understanding what happened. What did I do wrong?

Did she ever really love me in the first place?

  • Despite their individual faults and failings, I felt a great deal of sympathy for each of the central characters, Bendrix, Sarah and Henry;
  • The lack of control;
  • The End of the Affair is narrated by Maurice Bendrix, a moderately successful single writer living in London;
  • It seems that most good books show, in some way, how ridiculous we all are;
  • If I had then believed in a God I could have believed in a hand compelling me to speak to him, for I hated Henry and I hated his wife Sarah too.

What could I have done differently? If only I hadn't said this, or given that impression.

  1. The whole thing doesn't make sense -- love never does.
  2. Yet as a professional writer, I choose that wet January night in 1946 when I met Henry Miles on the common.
  3. Everyone else was becoming a Catholic.
  4. Light fireworks were in my stomach. As the novel drew to a close, I was left with one over-riding thought.

Why didn't I see it coming? Paradigm shift all you can, it doesn't go away; the love wants to exist. The gloomy nothing; the hugging of air; the unfulfilled images and dreams. Just because life has become painful for you, you want it to be painful for everyone else; or you at least you want them to have sympathy for you. How dare they be so happy. Pay attention to my pain.

How dare others smile and enjoy life. Do you know my pain? My heart, my pain —- nothing else matters —- listen to me, ME, ME. Love, whether in its existence or broken, is like that: I hate you as though you actually exist. But I think there is a part of the heart that breaks and never comes back; that never fully heals and thus makes us at least a little transformed from who we were before our heart was broken.

And slowly through time you realize that not only did you lose a part of yourself, but a part of you gets generated that wasn't there before. The whole thing doesn't make sense -- love never does.

The End of the Affair by Graham Greene

But you realize that you are a different and stronger person for having gone through it. It doesn't mean it was worth it. But having found new parts of yourself -- or having generated new parts of yourself -- you've gained something inside that can't ever be taken away; something that will be with you, and only you, for the rest of your life.

This novel amazed me.

Graham Greene pulls all this off brilliantly, with emotions toyed and pulled at; with life affirming sentences and quotes on just about every page. He gave me some of the most beautiful and articulate writing I've ever witnessed. To feel that I'm not the only one; to have it conveyed to me so perfectly -- through me -- was amazing.

When I finished this I had a tingle running up and down my spine. Light fireworks were in my stomach. My head was a happy buzz. My shoulders were so light they had no weight. My mostly numb, yet slightly tickly legs, tripped me up as I hopped from my reading chair to get to my bed, where I just laid there, thinking for an hour, while feeling amazing and transcendent.